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“Collective Minds of Eris’ Children”
Page ELEVEN
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Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
811. Quote from the Pink Rubber Strap-On Book, oldest sacred text in the universe (being written in 1 million BC on the planet Florzinox):
Ostrich Poop 1:1
1 The righteous, they do walk a PATH to DESTRUCTION! They claim to
be loving and good, but in the end they become monsters!
2 Some such monsters, in the name of righteousness, murdered
thousands of innocents they thought to be evil, for the mind of the fearful
makes demons where none exist.
3 They hide behind their God, demanding he protect them from the
world, which only does them a disservice---for those who pretend the
world is all goodness and light are the first to bring the plague of
evil upon the world.
4 No Demons or Devils need sow evil in the world, for the (self)
Righteous bring about their own evil.
Ostrich Poop 1:2
1 Others of the path of righteousness once went about the land of
the Aztecs and allied with some of them but then turned around and
raped, murdered, plundered their lands. These "righteous"
people eviscerated pregnant women, raped children, and murdered
wontonly, all in the name of their God.
2 And such was considered okay by him, for they were "simply
animals looking remarkably like humans."
3 Thus the decree: if you must go with either a
"righteous" person or a known
murderer and no other options remain, go with
the murderer; it's safer.
4 And those who heed not these words are masochistic and want to be
spanked.
812. Kindly take your nose off of my toes.
Lord Random Hearse (TANSTAAFL!)
813. The nose shall remain upon thy toes until such time as thy cheese is cut. At which time thou shall see a running nose.
814. All hail to the holy ostrich poop! May it fertilize the ground upon which it falls and not smell like bad cheesy poofs!
815. And it is was and always shall be decreed that all random acts must be sacred in their purpose, broad in their scope, and creamy in their filling, for chance and change are the perpetual agents of fortune.
816. A golden fognobber awaits those who have been especially random and naughty.
817. May your cereal always stay crispy in milk.
Azure Fox - Kitsune of Stuff (CAPTAPATHY)
818. Wisdumb of ages long past, not so long past, currently present, yet to come, never been, and some combination of eggs and rice:
819. "The trick to flying is to throw yourself at the ground, and miss." - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
820. "I doubt, therefore I might not be." - Unknown, commonly attributed to a drunken Descartes.
821. "I hate this place." - Spider Jerusalem
823. The quotes, actually poorly disguised filler for an otherwise uninspired post, are brought to you by Concordia College, an organization foolish enough to actually offer me money to attend.
824. We control the vertical. We control the horizontal. Eris controls the upside-diagonal.
825. Just when you thought it was safe to open your eyes... its the RETURN OF THE RANDOM, ODD QUOTES!!!!!
826. "You are watching The Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks fire from my nipples!" - Don Hertzfeldt, "Rejected"
827. You know what the weirdest sensation is?
828. When you're laying on your stomach, and a cat stands on your arse.
829. You know what's even weirder?
830. When that same cat starts to lift up and put down two paws at a time.
831. Man, is that weird.
832. Brillo pads cause cancer. One time I ordered a pizza, and when it got to my house, it wasn't cut. Creeeko... SHAZAM! Trix(TM) are for kids, and people over the age of negative purple.
833. In another life, I could see George Bush robbing a gun shop with a knife. Of course, I can also see him owning that shop, so I'm not sure that it matters.
Yughi (YUHGI66)
834 Yet....not such a reality exist...only untill dawn!
835 Where am I, whiteness around me everywhere, like a prison of thin walls.
836 Yes or no...what is there not or real, questions became anwsers became questions again
837 What is left ...only nothing...all is wrong here yet right, a perfect world without a voice
838 Silence outside, chilling walls of progression, voices within. What are the questions on those anwsers, who is the riddle master me or the questions themself
839 Yet again...silence...and white wall..as a prison thin as skin.
840 There we are again...nothing here..nothing to lose...round and round the ridles go, every time a different tune. What is the anwser on my questions..what are the questions on my anwsers!
841 Yet, the voices again....are they me or am I them!
842 Cold alone but never alone, they are stil there...with me inside this white thin prison!
Blessed Emanator And Nerd (BEAN) (RAVENOTANI)
843: And the Evil Blackbird came and eateth of the pointless quotes.
844: But the ink was toxic and so didst the birds perish.
845: This explaineth whyfor Evil Blackbird Spirit's haunt my life.
846: Either that or it was some really good stuff I had last night.
Holy Poingyship (GJOY6669)
847: People in love like to flaunt their love.
848: Pope Joy is in love.
849: But she doesn't want to flaunt it.
850: Yet she has done it already
851: Flaunting one's love doesn't make it any truer or falser.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
852: That which is true is also false
853: That which is false is also true
854: If you think you're in love, you're in love.
855: Love is an illusion, because life is an illusion.
856: I am an illusion, or perhaps a figment of your imagination.
856: Yet I am real because you think I exist.
857: Or at least you think my words exist.
Holy Poingyship (GJOY6669)
858: And you wouldn't be a discordian if you didn't disagree with what is written in the scripture.
859: Because you are to assume this is a discordian scripture
860: Or a non discordian scripture in a forum called Discordian
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
861: Or maybe it's just one of my delusions, or a dream of a slightly insane goddess.
862: Possibly I'm just a madperson locked away somewhere having delusions of conversing through text with strangers.
863: You shouldn't talk to strangers, but it's okay to type to them.
Holy Poingyship (GJOY6669)
864: Everyone is a stranger once.
865: Only mad people talk to strangers.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
866: which is why all anouncers must be mad.
Holy Poingyship (GJOY6669)
867: Which is why one shall ask every telemarketer about his penis size.
Yughi (YUGHI66)
868: Cockroach marmalade...with dungbeetle eggs...that is a good start of the day!
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
868: especially when et upon the buns of hot-dogs.
Kinslayer (ARKADIUSTIME)
869. And It Was Spoken Through Arkadius, Follow The Law's Set By The One Known As Murphy.
870. And It Was Spoken Unto Arkadius That He Needed To Kill Those Who Wrote Script's For The Star Trek Series Known As Enterpise.
871. And Arkadius Having Spoken Such, Ate A Steak As He Was Commanded.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
872. Quotes from a Babelfished translation of a recent email:
873. "Do not send money, since the destiny of your genitals does not have price."
874. "It enjoys herself more than swimming 20 long of pool, ¡and do not you need zapatillas special!"
875. "The sexually active body removes greater quantities of pheromones. These subtle sexual perfumes return crazy al contrary sex!"
876. "The sex is the surest tranquilizer of the world."
877. "To do a great deal the love clears the nose blocked. The sex is an antihistamínico international. Aid to fight asma and allergies. ENJOYS THE SEX! !!!!!!!!!!! Of the good sex."
878. And the best one: "A session doing the love alleviates the tension that presses the blood glasses of the brain."
879. END BABELFISHED QUOTES.
880. I am Jello. Eat me.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
881: For jello is sweet and wiggly.
882: Muchlike the breasts of the goddess, which give forth the milk of unlightenment.
à
Lord Random Hearse (TANSTAAFL28)
883. And thus "inuendo" was given whole new meaning. Phonetically, figuratively, literally, and in all ways. One cannot be limited to one position, but should instead, try all positions.
884. A pretzel and the Kama Sutra have a lot in common minus the salt (unless you're into salty sailors).
885. Humans developed communication for the expressed purposes of discussing sex, politics, and religion. Everything else is just a fortunate biproduct. Especially beer- helping ugly people breed since long before you were born.
886. Wait..I have something in my eye, but nothing up my sleeve.
887. AACK! Attack of the killer purple vibrating dildos (with sensual 'ridges' for your added pleasure)!
888. Pitching a tent is always more fun when you can go inside and play.
889. Mounting a well-rounded mound always insures more cushion for the pushin!
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
890. Innuendo comes in the window and out the window goes all the youth in Asia thrown out by the fundies.
891. *Rolls the dice, gets a one.* That's it for
today, I'm afraid.
Lord Random Hearse (TANSTAAFL28)
893. Plankton, Plankton! Oh how I love Plankton! Yummy little sea creatures wiggling in my tummy! Ode to Plankton!
894. The preceding message
was from a respectable Sperm Whale of our acquaintance, who wished to be
included in this tome on the guarantee of anonymity.
895. All the world is code,
and we are merely users. We strut and fret our lives across the keyboard and
are read no more. Tis a tale told by an idiot,
signifying everything is nothing.
896. A user can use, but a
programmer can program what a user uses, sees, feels, touches, and understands.
Tis better to program in hell than use in heaven.
897. Construction dust in
the desert is like raw sewage in the sea. Whether gills or lungs, it still
smells like teen spirit.
898. Blasphemer! Heretic!
Greyfaced accountant! Telephone sanitizers of the
world unite! Enter random numbers with your touch tone phone to receive a
prize.
899. Alas, time is short, I must depart. For to go in German is to fahrt, and to fahrt too much can have explosive reprocussions. Flatulance is how I spell relief!
Jigga Joy Jag (GJOY6669)
900. If I could speak Elven or Klingon, but I didn't love others, I would only sound like
a geek weirdo and no one else would care.
901. If I were a know-it-all, if I could tell the future, but I didn't love
others, I'd be nothing but a freak.
902. If my spells were so powerful that I could make a mountain move just by
saying "move" [without having to roll any dice], but I didn't have
love, no one would like to play with me anyway, and it would be no good.
903. If I gave everything away, including my virginity and my most expensive
MTG cards, and I did it without love, it would be useless.
904. Love is like demand. If no one demands me as a product, then I am of no
value.
905. And it is now time to remember those LOVE IS stickers:
905.1. Love is patient.
905.2. Love is kind.
905.3. Love is not jealous.
905.4. Love is not boastful.
905.6. Love is not proud.
905.7. Love is not rude.
905.8. Love is not my way or the highway.
905.9. Love is not annoying without being cute.
905.10. Love is never happy about people suffering.
905.11. Love is happy when it is.
906. Spells and skills are only temporary.
907. When the game is over, all you're left with are your friends.
908. And you better love them.
909. When I was a little kid I spoke like a little kid, thought like a
little kid, and reasoned like a little kid.
910. When I grew up, I I put away childish things,
including my fear of childishness, and the desire to be very grown up. - C. S.
Lewis
910. Now I still see things according to my tinted glasses.
911. but I will know everything someday.
912. All you need is love.
Lord Random Hearse (TANSTAAFL28)
913. Love is in the air we breathe, the water we drink, the firmament upon which we walk, the hope we share, the dreams we give, and the love we make.
914. It beats the hell out
of card games too.
915. The keys are the key,
they open many doors. Skeleton keys are handy, closet keys are nice, churchkeys are an absolute necessity.
916. The stream of
consciousness is but a moment of thought connected to nothing that flows
without bidding or understanding. Tis better that
way.
917. Change is a
teacher of infinite strength and subtlty. Those
who do not properly understand the nature of change will try one of two
things: either resist it, or force it. Force is met with no resistance,
resistance is met with no force, thus change can
neither be overcome with resistance or force. The lesson of change is
that it can only be met on its own terms.
918. Pocket change, however,
can be made at your local bank during normal business hours.
919. Chaos is an agent of
perpetual change. It comes and goes around and around as it will with no
purpose other than to teach the lessons of change to all who are not ready for
it. It is neither good, nor evil, it is simply different. That is just how it
is.
920. Nothing in the universe
is immune to change. All things must begin, grow, solidify, decay, and
dissolve. It is the way of all things. There is nothing good
nor evil about this process. It just is.
921. Get over it. We've got other fish to fry. Especially on Fridays.
Azure Fox – Kitsune of Stuff (CAPTAPATHY)
922. And now for something significantly less serious!
923. My dream movie part, if I could be anyone in any movie ever made, would to be the guy in the Godzilla movies who is running down the street in terror, turns around, points at the sky (situated somewhere roughly above the camera) and shouts,
924. "GODZILLA!"
925. I mean, that just speaks to me on so many levels.
926. Mallard ducks have infested my headphones; a cocktail party (speaking of innuendo) is blathering on while the crowd goes wild; all is one except in the case of my left shoe; they began to fall apart; time travel will be invented by a procrastinatorian philosopher if anyone; are you sinking or diving?
927. Those students who have become one with the universe, will now be allowed to continue on and become two with the universe.
928. There are three truths, all false:
929. The first truth: "Nobody believes this statement to be true."
930. The second truth: "DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM DOOM!"
931. The third truth: "I wish I were an Oscar Meyer (TM) wiener, that is what I truly want to be; 'cause if I were an Oscar Meyer (TM) wiener, everyone would be in love with me!"
932. Am I really orange? Or am I the only purple one in an orange, orange world?
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
934: and as the discordians were in chaos the Borg descended and attempted to assimilate them.
935: Resistance was futile, and the borg were defeated by chaos.
936: Now there is a massive debate over whether Chaos is stronger than Kaos, or if it's all just semantics.
Jigga Joy Jag (GJOY6669)
936. What would happen if Borgs would assimilate the antiBorg?
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
937: The same thing that happens when matter assimilates anti-matter
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
938. The stream of consciousness flows into the river of collective consciousness which flows into the ocean that is The All. We are all molecules in the Ocean of the All, until we wake up or the 'Shrooms wear off, in which case $8.42 is all you need to buy another pair of docks with orange socks and get Goldilocks and a fox in a box wearing Dockers (TM) and boy has Goldilocks got big knockers!
939. "Why thank you, Doctor Frankensteen."
940. If you didn't understand that, all is well. Don't fall into the well and drown or all will *not* be well. Oh well.
941. And if you *did* understand that, you must be high on something!
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
942: ANd misunderstanding the collective fell into the Well.
943: Then they hassimilated Alice and the White rabit.
Kinslayer (ARKADIUSTIME)
944: And During The Last day's Of Earth, One From Atlantis Will Reveal Himself.
945: After This Has Been Done, The World Would Be Doomed To Die.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
946. But this would only happen after the sun began to expand and die.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
946: Causing the computer which Rules the Universe to crash and burn.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
947. Or not.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
947: and in the confusion the forces of light and darkness got together and decided to throw a party.
948: So they went to the white house and threw the republican party into a ditch.
949: They had fun doing this so they threw the democrats in too.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
950. And then they threw all the fundies, prosylatizers, and other such evil persons into the flaming armpits of Heck, which only made them happy as they gleefully burned.
Jigga Joy Jag (GJOY6669)
951. And they tiedyed the house so it was no longer white.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
952. And lo, then they tie-died the sky so it was no longer just blue, and then the night sky so it was not just black, and this set off a tie-dieing contest of cosmic proportions.
Borg Princess (RAVENOTANI)
953: and the Mighty PigMent loooked upon the colourful world and was pleased.
954: THen came along the Bleeched wonder.
955: She cried out, for all colours and no colours should be tranformed to the purity of white.
956: and so she got out the bleech and peroxide and began towash away the colours in an attempt to make everything a uniform, drab white.
Kinslayer (ARKADIUSTIME)
957. And the spirits spoke through Arkadius saying, Eating the flesh of dead animal's shalt never be considered sacrilige.
958. And unto death, One shall alway's remember the taste of well cooked bacon.
959. And God Spoke Unto Arkadius Saying, "YOU BROKE IT... FIX IT FOR TE LOVE OF SATAN."
Treylane
Jigga Joy Jag (GJOY6669)
960. And so the broken bleach only created more shades of the already many colors existing.
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
961. An lo! And Behold! The reds did run with the bleach and didst turn pink, vexing many.
(YUGHI66)
962. Fruits are loony!
963. Walking with jesus in the gardens of strange green plants, with that cat from alice from wonderland at our side, and zombie flyswatters hunting behind rubber chickens on 3 legs. I was once, long ago, in a myrad speech about the reality of four legged koffee cans on sunday.
964. Then without warning, a fruit landed on the head of jesus and called jesus a son of a bitch on speed. Strange realities yet unset by that what not is! Not far from us, steaming criples in a jet stream where singing a hanson song.
965. Now I tell ya fruits are loonies!
966. Lets not be egoistic and pass it around!
Reverend Beautiful Pyre (FAYANORA)
967. Alora fruits, however, are not loonies. :-)
968. And lo! It is to be revealed in skimpy bikini that hot days make Fay drowsy and uncreative. So much for that.
969. We are almost to 1000. COO COO KATCHOO!
(YUGHI66)
970. Mmm, for some strange reason I have to think about E=Mc^3 said the aleister cat, while walking over the green daysies!