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| March 27, 2007 |
Subject: Open Letter To The Haters
Time: 2:14 AM
Dear People Who Hate and/or Judge People Who Are Outside Of The Norm,
To all those who hate, fear, and/or act judgmentally against gays, lesbians, bisexuals, polyamorous people, genderqueers, Goths, Pagans, Punks, metalheads, or any other group that you consider abnormal... please, go take a fucking bath. The stench from your brain and soul rotting is just too much. Go boil yourself in Febreeze, because you reek. You're disgusting. Morally bankrupt beyond all hope of recovery. You're not even human. You are going to Hell and you deserve it. Jesus would vomit at the sight of you. Jesus would rather take part in an orgy at a leper colony than spend any time with you.
How dare someone so sickeningly revolting dare think they deserve rights equal to ours? How dare you demand to be treated like *gasp!* human beings! You want to marry someone of the opposite sex? You want to sanctify in the name of God the act of grunting animal-like sex, and the act of reproduction? You want the Holy of Holies to bless the little maggot being squeezed out of your cunt? You have some gall!
As one who knows The Truth, I will treat you as you have treated me. I will bully you, and shred your feelings and your humanity to pieces until you have to become the monster I say you are just to hold your own and survive. I will pelt you with rotten food, and send a lynch mob after you. You dare wear a crucifix, spreading your Straight Agenda in my personal space? I'll force you to take it off or be expelled.
There are rumors that you prayed for someone today. We won't have you making the other student uncomfortable. Please stop using your sorcery, please stop calling to your imp in front of others. Your religion is acceptable, Mr. Fundy Christian, only if you hide it away. Now that we know what you are, we'll make up all kinds of nasty rumors about you. We'll say you practice cannibalism in your rituals, that you drown babies; someone will write a book about the Christian Ritual Abuse that goes on, forcing children to accept the seed of Christ. I see one nice fellow has written a series of cartoon pamphlets against your religion even though he knows nothing about it.
"Oh, I see on your application you're a Christian. Well, I'm sorry, but we don't hire your kind here."
"OUT! OUT OF THE HOUSE! I never want to see you ever again! You're DEAD to me, you hear? I'd rather you were dead than a heterosexual! Never darken our doorstep again!"
"But Dad, I'm only 13! Where am I supposed to go?"
"Guess that's your problem now. You should've thought about that before choosing your sinful lifestyle!"
"Hey, nice trousers, manly-man! You wanna be a manly man, well, you can just take the consequences..." *Ripping noise as the three normal transsexuals rip off the trousers of the abnormal heterosexual manly man*
"No, please, DON'T!"
"Oh come now, a little gay sex will cure you of your heterosexual sickness."
"STOP, PLEASE, I beg of you!"
*A man and a woman hold hands out at a park. An outraged normal woman, a lesbian of course, grabs her child like the straight couple are going to abduct him, covers the child's eyes with her hands, and starts screaming at them for their blatant display of their sexual perversion.*
"...the liberals have put forth a new bill to ensure the human rights of these disgusting perverts, the straights, as well as protecting the liberties of these Christians. They're calling for special rights for all these weirdos. Gods, letting straights get away with their gross public displays of affection... what next? Marriage to goats? I can just see it now, some man sucking a sheep's face all because we let these straights revel in their sinful choices. It's a slippery slope, it is."
In other words, fundamentalist Christians, you are not being persecuted. You're the ones doing the persecuting. You wouldn't be able to tolerate persecution. Neither can we.
Human rights are not special rights. Sexuality is not a choice. Your religion is no better or worse than any other. If God were really on your side, there would be no Free Will. If, after reading this, you still don't agree... then here's what you do: 1. Buy a .35 pistol and bullets. 2. Load gun. 3. Put muzzle in your mouth. 4. Pull the trigger. 5. Stop polluting the gene pool.
With utmost sincerity;
- Alexander Antonin (AKA Bishop Sanctimonious The Hypocritical)
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