The Girl With No Shadow

A Yahgahn Fable

Once, there was a girl named Yinarr who knew she had no shadow. She saw that others had shadows, and she despised it. It was plain to her that shadows were evil, that they were what The Demon used to keep people in the ignorance of their Divinity. Yet she had no shadow, so to her that meant that she now knew her Divinity and was able to wake others to this truth.

She often watched the others as they played and pitied them. They thought of their shadows as such fun. Little do they know, when they dance with their shadows they are dancing with Demons, she thought.

As she was sitting and watching, another child came up to her.

"Would you like to play with us, Yinarr?"

"Sorry. I do not play with people who have shadows." She had not said it snidely, but it was taken that way.

"Then you will be extremely lonely." The other looked at something behind Yinarr. "And you will be unable to play with yourself, then."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, Yinarr, that you also have a shadow."

"I have no such thing."

"I observe that you have one."

It was preposterous! Yinarr knew she didn't have a shadow. Her parents had told her this, and they never lied.

"Then you are deceiving yourself, as I have no shadow."

"It is you who is deceiving yourself. How long have you thought this way?"

"My mother and father have observed that I have no shadow, and I have known this all my life. So there, Kohrin."

"And you are eight? Nearly an adult, and you still deny that you have a shadow."

"Shadows are the slave drivers of The Demon."

Kohrin rolled her eyes. "In the name of the Divine, Yinarr! I thought your religion was a dead one. No wonder you are deceived."

"I am not..." she trailed off because Kohrin was laughing. Little did Yinarr know, but her shadow was making Grog'hkah horns on Yinarr's head.

"What are you laughing •about, Kohrin?"

"Your shadow... your shadow is making it appear as though you have Grog'hkah horns! It is trying to get attention, obviously."

One of Yinarr's eyebrows went lip, but her head stayed where it was. "You are hallucinating, Kohrin. I have no shadow. I have been born into enlightenment. The Light of Truth shines in, on, and through me."

"Light casts a shadow. If you are enlightened, you have a shadow. Your parents are wrong. A shadow is a good thing. Embrace and love it, and you will be a whole person. Do not, and…" She let the implication hang.

"I am whole, and I have no shadow! The Demon is deceiving you! Foul Death Eater!" she made a sign to ward off evil.

Kohrin rolled her eyes once more. "Whatever." Then she left.

*

Throughout the following years, her shadow kept trying to get her attention by getting others to notice it and react to it. Its actions got more and more noticeable every time. It started with the shadow shapes, and then went on to other things—like dancing, running, making scary shapes, and even slapping others—when Yinarr refused to notice it.

Its actions and her denial of its existence, along with her hatred of shadows, made Yinarr a social outcast. Even when she tried to be with others because she was lonely, nobody could stand her shadow's behavior. Eventually, someone was bound to react harshly about it. Finally one day, that happened.

She had fallen in love. Sure, Threhn had a shadow, but he was a member of her religion, so he was struggling to fully remember his Divinity. Little did she know that religions often have conflicting beliefs within them. She did not know that he was of a different sect than she was. .

She finally got up her courage enough to tell him her feelings about him. She went up to him, and he smiled at her.

"Hello Yinarr. How are you?" (They were already friends.)

"I'm fine. But Threhn, I would like to tell you something."

"What?"

"I…" she was cut off by a loud, high-pitched scream in her ear. It was her shadow.

"Did you do that?" she asked Threhn.

"No. That was your shadow screaming. It needs your attention."

"I have no shadow, and if I did, I would despise it."

Her shadow screamed again, only louder this time.

"Please tell your shadow to be quiet!"

"Mine? You are the only one here now with a shadow. It is your shadow that is screaming. It is screaming to be in the presence of a pure Deity who has discarded her shadow. It is a demon, and cannot stand the light."

"What are talking about? Light causes the shadow. The Demon whispering insults and self-esteem destroying words into the ears of our souls causes ignorance of one’s Divinity! The shadow is something that shows we are of the Light!"

Her shadow screamed again.

"FOUL LIAR! The Demon has possessed you! BEGONE WITH YOU!" She made the sign against evil again, and spat at him.

Threhn looked shocked and horribly insulted. He spat back at her and said, "No, it is you who are wrong! Deny your shadow and you are just giving The Demon more control over you! It is you who is possessed, if anyone is." Then he left, stomping off.

And he took her heart with him. Though she still thought it was his shadow that had screamed, she had spoken with anger at his words, when she should have been understanding. She had known that he was still struggling with The Demon. She berated herself that she should have expected The Demon to speak with Threhn's mouth. Sad and angry with herself she stomped off in the other direction, into the darker part of the jungle.

She was still stomping, upset, when she saw the Shoikin's Child in the bushes ahead of her. She stood stock still, breathing very silently. Shoikin's Children could not stand people, especially if they were hunting, and would attack if the person were making too much noise.

So the scream totally frightened and surprised her.

The Shoikin's Child turned and glared angrily at her. Then it spoke: "Do you not see I be hunting? Be silent you!"

The scream came again, and the Shoikin's Child saw what was making the noise this time.

"Give your shadow attention, make it be silent!"

"I have no shadow."

The creature walked toward her slowly. "I can see your shadow plainly. The Mother strike me dead now if you have no shadow."

Nothing happened.

The creature looked into her eyes with a concentration that she recognized as its using The Gift to explore her mind. "Your shadow screaming because you deny it. Acknowledge your shadow, then give it love and compassion, and it will be silent."

"I have no shadow." It screamed again.

The creature growled. "You had better listen to what I said and make your shadow be silent! You have interrupted me in my hunting. One more scream from your shadow and I will eat you!"

"I keep telling you," she said despite her growing fear and uncertainty, "that I... I have no shadow."

There was a strange silence, a scary silence, for a moment. She knew by the tone of the silence what would happen. And it was too late to stop it.

Her shadow screamed one more time.

And at the exact same moment it stopped, the Shoikin's Child lunged at her. She was defenseless, as she had left her protection knife at home. She had not expected to need to use it.

The creature bit, clawed, slashed, and tore at her. It began eating her alive. She screamed, but she was too far away from help. She gave up, resigned herself to her fate.

Yet it was not the end for her. Her shadow loved her very much, and realized that it had gotten her into this mess. Her shadow grabbed the beast by the neck and changed shape to that of a bigger predator. It could not speak, but its actions scared the creature. When her shadow let go of the Shoikin's Child, it screamed and ran away.

Her shadow walked up to her and bent down over her. She looked up at it, with tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry I denied your existence! It's just... I thought... I was told..."

Her shadow nodded, in a knowing gesture.

"Is what Threhn said true? That the shadow is proof of the Light?"

It nodded again.

And since she was beginning to doubt her parents' wisdom, she added one last question. "And… is there really a Demon?"

Her shadow wrote words in the dirt beside her. The words said, 'There is no Demon. People forget their Divinity by choice, and struggle to remember it, for experiencing oneself as Who You Are and Who You Are Not is the purpose of life. Now, let's get you to safely.'

The words made her fed so much better. Perhaps, she thought, having love and compassion for my shadow won't he so hard after all.

The moral of this story is that what you deny about yourself becomes like a shadow, meaning that it is obvious to everyone else. What you deny about your personality and try to bide becomes obvious, pops up and becomes annoying at the least opportune times, and may even be dangerous. But even the part of your personality you hate the most has gifts for you. Love, have compassion for, and accept your Self for all that it is-even the parts you don't like—and you will only need to use them when you need to.

Also, if you rejected your shadow so long ago that you cannot remember what parts of your personality it contains, look to others. The actions and behaviors in other people that make you the most annoyed or angry are the ones you have rejected in yourself. Yinarr rejected the shadow cast by the sun's light, and was angry at others for seeing and loving their shadows, which shows that it was that she bad rejected in herself. Her constant denial of the existence of her shadow only made its desire to be loved and noticed stronger. Kohraindehr forbid it should take so much violence to open your eyes to your shadow self.