Lipinski 66.69

(Continued)

By Pope Fay, The Faintly Saintly Dainty

AKA Profit-Saint Fayanora "Sinner" Ahnabahn

Saint Tara Lipinski

Movement 5:2, Monty Python

1. �� Hear ye, hear ye: By chaos of Shao'Kehn, "Monty Python's Flying Circus" is hereby scripture. Watch it, absorb it, love it, emulate it.

2. �� Edict #666: The Ministry of Funny Walks is now hereby and herewith a new Discordian Bureau.

3. �� Discordianism may seem like a philosophy preaching to be weird. Well, it is. In the land of mimes, be the crazy guy who talks.

4. �� In the land of the naked, be the weird clothed guy.

5. �� Or not.

6. Can you tell that this movement should've been given a more general name?

Movement 5:3, Woman the peace stations!

1. �� Don't be afraid to be yourself in public. I was, but the more I came out in public, the more I see that there's little or nothing to fear. A growing number of people know and accept Pagan religions, and other lifestyles. I have had pictures of "Bob" (as Gawd of telemarketers), and other Discordian material, in full view at work and gotten nothing but good comments about it. I've worn a dress in public, I often have my purse in full view, and I've worn a pentacle before.

2. �� Five-three! Oh shit! That means only a few more movements until the end! And, did you know there's a MONSTER at the end of this scripture!?! Furry little Grover is SCARED! NOOOO! I will NOT let you get to the end!!!

�� *erects a wall*

�� *your eye moves to next line, which destroys wall*

3. �� Harry Harrison, John Johnson, Mary Harry, Eric Ericson... what do these names have in common? They're STUPID NAMES!!! No-one should have names like these! They're MAGNETS for teasing, insulting, and dumb names.

4. �� Yeshuah Ben Yosef looked up, as he was working on a neighbor's roof, and wiped sweat from his brow. He was about ready to get back to work when Shao'Kehn appeared in Her full glory, floating in the air before him. Poor old Yeshuah's heart almost stopped in that moment, and he fell off the house, plumb on his head.

�� Seeing that he was dead, Shao'Kehn did a Lazarus on him, a made him into an immortal. "Poor weak, soft humans," She said.

�� Then She hopped into his body, and he was instantly enlightened. And the fun began.

�� (That there was a sneak preview of Pope Fay's upcoming re-write of the New Testament.)

5. �� Shao'Kehn, being a changeling Goddess, is all colors, shapes, sizes, species, matter, energy, anti-matter, and anti-energy. Just because She always appears to me as a beautiful Hispanic-looking woman with black hair and Trelli eyes (whites of eyes black, no pupils, no lines on iris) doesn't mean She can't look different. But She IS partial to Traipah (the planet of the Trelli), so what I see Her as is Her true form, as far as I'm concerned. May be a racial bias on my part (I was Trelli in a past life), but if you don't like it, that's tough luck. See Her however you want to. :-)

6. �� The Ah-Koi Bahnis Tu-Bahn Fahloon (Trelli) have, however, been civilized since before humans could even stand upright, and they grew out of primitive-mindedness at roughly 1300 AD.

�� Just thought you ought to know that. :-)

Movement 5:4, SPAM ATTACK!

1. If a telemarketer calls you, at least listen to them before you decide if you're interested or not. And if you're not interested, strike up a conversation with them anyway. Tele-marketers only work at that job because their options are limited for whatever reason, and it's the Most Boring Job in the Known Universe. It is tedious and boring, and so a conversation with someone the computer dials for them would be a bright spot in their day, or at least help to pass the time. You can also use it to spread the word about Discordianism!

2. �� Pope Fay was waiting for EIS to send her a call (at her job) when a gigantic can of mutated Spam (which had been destroying the city) ripped off the roof off of SITEL's building, sending the employees running and screaming away.

�� Except for one: Pope Fay.

3. �� After the initial shock wore off, Pope Fay yelled at the can of Spam, saying, "Go away, Spam; for if you don't, I will defeat you!"

�� The can of Spam just roared, and said, "I'd like to see you try!" Then it hopped inside, and the two faced each other, a real Mexican standoff, minus the sombreros and burritos (no offense to Mexicans---as I hinted at earlier, Hispanic women are HOT.)

�� "Fine then." Pope Fay rolled up her sleeves, and said, "Bring it on." And the fight began.

4. �� So, using her Discordian Majik, summoned elementals of the five Discordian elements. She started with a Sweet elemental. It stuck the Spam to the floor, and left a sticky taste in its mouth, which made the Spam sour (so it was then Sweet and sour Spam). On top of that, the Spam suddenly developed diabetes, and went into Sweet-overdose spasms. The spasms, though, helped it escaped the sticky trap. Once it took some insulin and came out of its Sweet-induced fit, it stomped toward Pope Fay.

�� Then she summoned a Setting Orange elemental, but the Spam (which had gained a taste for Sweet, and had plenty of insulin on its person) crushed the Setting Orange into Setting Orange Juice, and drank it.

�� Angered, Pope Fay summoned a Pungent elemental, and lo! the room stank so bad that the Spam ran away, and Pope Fay retched all over everywhere. The Pope thought all was done, but as she was escaping the stench of Pungent, the Spam returned with a giant fan, and blew the stench away.

�� It marched toward Fay again, and she threw a Prickle-Prickle elemental at it, because diabetics have to be careful not to hurt their feet. This held Spam back, for it was afraid to step on something prickly, but it eventually found a way past that trap as well. It then yelled, "Your puny elementals are no match for me!"

�� The camera panned onto a close-up of Fay's face, the lighting grew dramatic, and Fay glared.

�� "You 8n't seen nothin' yet," she said.

5. �� The skies grew dark, clouds twirled and swirled, and Fay seemed to grow to the size of at least five stories tall. Her hair grew long and turned black, her skin darkened, she grew larger breasts, her fingernails became painted green, and her eyes changed. She had become Shao'Kehn Incarnate! She swirled the clouds around melodramatically in Her hands, then summoned a Boom elemental... which took out everything within three city blocks, including the Spam and possibly Pope Fay.

6. And lo! When she awoke, all was as it had been, and she was still waiting for EIS to send her a call. So was it reality or a dream? Is there any real difference?

Movement 5:5, Liber and Onions

1. Subway is Divine. Their sub sandwiches are AWESOME!!! I hereby rub-a-dub dub Jared as Saint Jared the Staunch, despite the fact that he's incredibly annoying.

2. Chaos magicians, chaos lovers everywhere will love and should read the book Liber Kaos (no, it's not about Max Smart of the old TV show Get Smart, or the villains of K.A.O.S.) It's incredibly amazing! Thou shouldst read it!

3. Take at least one holiday off of work in August, because it has no holidays. January has New Years Day, February has Valentine's Day, March has Saint Patrick's Day, April has Easter, May has May Day, June has Father's Day, I believe. July 4th, September has... Labor Day� October has Halloween, November's got Turkey Day, and December is Christmas or Yule. No holidays in August.

�� So, because August ain't got a holiday, then find one. I believe every day of the year is National (Something) day. Heck, I've even heard of National Pork Day. So find one of those, celebrate it. http://www.bluemountain.com has them listed on their site.

�� Or make up one, and take that day off. I'm going to take off some day in August, claim it's the birthday of Eris/Shao'Kehn, or some such stuff.

4. The universe, being capricious, gives us what we repeat often--what we expect to get. If you keep saying that you're "sick of" something, you will get sick. If you expect people to be rude, horrid drivers or rotten politicians, that's what you get. If you expect your computer to go fucking nuts on you (to fuck up), it will. But part of that is built-in obsolescence.

�� Pessimist's View of the Universe: Anything that CAN go wrong, WILL go wrong.

�� Optimist's View: Anything that CAN go right, WILL go right.

�� Realist's View: You get what you expect to get.

5. Virginity is a curse, sex a blessing. (As long as it isn't rape--rape is evil and vile). If you have children, encourage them to "get laid," even if only once. (Make sure they use "protection" though, and know how best to avoid STDs). Also, encourage them to have sex with other virgins, to "kill two birds with one stone."

�� If you're a virgin, you need to get laid before you marry. Most marriages end in divorce because of sexual problems, and these can usually be prevented by getting sexual practice before getting married. Besides, no one wants to marry a virgin except other virgins, and getting married to a virgin is like taking a road trip with someone who's never even SEEN a car, much less been in one. And if you're both virgins, who the hell is is going to drive? If you "walk," you won't get very far very fast, and it will be exceedingly boring. You also can't hitch a ride from someone else--most people will ignore you, and those who don't are swingers. You must have a good, solid relationship first in order to be a swinger. So it all boils down to: You'd be best off to learn how to drive BEFORE taking a road trip.

6. �� Glory, glory hall-eh-looooooo-yah!

�� Take this fruit, stick it toooo yah!

�� Bonked him in the beanie with a rotten tanger-een-ee,

�� And the Truth goes marching off!

Britney Spears (left) and Saint Tara Lipinski (right)

In a lesbian embrace (I wish!)

Movement 5:6, Liber Tea

1. Discordianism is like the Tao or Zen--hard to understand, you have to just live it 'till ya get it. You can't grasp it mentally, because it's like wet soap, always falling into the water. If you're a man in jail, NEVER bend over to pick up the soap, unless you LIKE being raped in the ass. If convicts had access to children, they could emulate the Catholic Clergy instead of raping each other.

2. If you understand Discordianism, then what drugs are you on & where can I get some?

3. Test question #69: "This sentence is a lie." Mediate on that doozy until you either achieve enlightenment or your brain explodes, whichever is more likely to happen first. But please don't bleed on the carpet, it's brand-new and spotlessly white.

�� But cookie crumbs are okay. I have a new Hoover that sucks harder than George W. Bush and Monica Lewinsky combined.

4. Whoever invented Spam must be hunted down, tied up, and forced to watch sickening kids' shows like Barney the Dinosaur, Teletubbies, and Dora the Explorer until they scream out, begging for mercy. Then we'll move in and save their immoral soles, and get them repaired at the cobbler's shop in the next town over. I always thought cobblers cobbled streets and not shoes--does that mean I'll have rocks in my shoes now? Do they wear shoes in Seoul? I dunno, but I can see them now, singing, "I souled my Seoul for Rock 'n' Roll!"

�� If Christians are trying to save our immortal soles, then Gawd must be a cobbler. Or a Keebler. Which would make him a very large fucking Elf. Fairies are supposedly gay, so does that make Elves gay too or maybe bisexual? I think Jehovah/Yahweh/G-d is a eunuch, otherwise why would he be so much against sex?

5. I was staring blankly at a white wall the other day, and had a vision. In this vision, Jehovah/Yahweh/G-d was yelling at Pope John Paul what's-his-number, when He looked at His watch in terror and ran off. He then changed out of his long robe and sandals and donned an Arab man's attire, and began preaching to a bunch of Muslim clergymen. Osama Bin Laden was there, at His feet, trying to get His attention by pulling pleadingly at His robes. Jehovah/Allah got angry at him for his murder of innocent people, and angrily spit on him and kicked him away.

�� I think it was a message from Eris/Shao'Kehn!

�� Of course, it could've been the grass I smoked, which I got from the neighbor's lawn. They just had it mown and sprayed with chemicals, so that could be it. I tend to ignore "keep off the grass" signs. I can walk on the grass if I damned well please!

HA HA! I made that whole shpiel up! (Well, some of it).

NOTHING IS TRUE EXCEPT FOR CHAOS! (and sex)

6. Those who think they understand the universe cannot hear the Gawds laughing at them.

Movement 6:1

After I Was Attacked By A Swordfish, Bit By A Dogfish,

and Got Bullied At School, I Had To See A Sturgeon

1. Always question your beliefs, even the belief that you exist. TIS AN ILL WIND THAT BLOWS NO MINDS! Shake up your brain every now and then or you will die of brain entropy. Systems tend to dissolve (entropy) because there are more possible ways to break an egg than to keep it intact. If you don't understand that, email me at this address: iwantporn@lolitasex.com� ( http://www.lolitasex.com is a legal site----the girls are all at least 18.)

2. Hold the horseradish Maude, I think the foundation's capsizing like a clerk in a hat store! WOMAN THE PEACE STATIONS, THE DAMNED CAPITALISTS ARE BOMBING OUR LSD FACTORIES AGAIN!!! Even the COWS are high now!

�� "Oh this piece of shit made in China! AAAA! What I wouldn't give for good, quality Russian products!"

3. Hell is a state of mind, as is heaven. There IS life after death, because if there wasn't, all life would cease to exist if someone died. That'd be one helluva funeral.

�� Matter is energy, energy is life. All of existence is life. Soul or no sole, it don't matter. All that matters is life. (Unless it's an energy being, then it isn't matter. Or is it?)

�� No matter. Hell is the state of living a life afraid of death. Heaven is the state of living without being afraid of death. Live IN the moment, though, and NOT FOR it.

4. Cheese is Divine--it's creamy, delicious, and can be used for many things. It is the food of the Gawds--and the more you eat, the sooner you get to meet Them!

5. Possible answers for Test Question #69:

�� A. Logic is illogical.

�� B. OxyClean in the squirt bottle with the super-shammy will take bloodstains out of carpeting.

�� C. Some people eat monkey brains.

�� D. FNORD!

6. Michael Jackson sings a song about he and his pet chimp, named Bubbles: "I'm forever blowing Bubbles..."

Saint Tara Lipinski (middle) with Her mortal parents

Saint Tara Lipinski (middle) with Her mortal parents

Movement 6:2, Liber Eight

1. The number you have called is not in service. This is a recording. Zero-seven-three-P as in pickles so good and delicious. Pickles are a man's best friend, while women prefer cucumbers.

2. If you're a man, wear pantyhose or tights or women's trouser socks in full view of your coworkers, even if only for long enough for them to notice, as it will freak them out. (Though that wasn't MY intention when I did it.) Just imagine their reaction if I went to work wearing a DRESS! They'd be picking their eyeballs up off the floor!

3. Pickles are born as another species, as cucumbers. Cucumbers are okay, I suppose, but pickles are better. Pickles, especially the smaller ones, fit in the anus better than cucumbers do.

4. I went to work the other day, and the long-distance phone lines were down only for SITEL (the place I work at). As a result, since we're a telemarketing firm (oh Gawdess, I'm speaking in the corporate We now!), we got two hours of freedom! I went to the library in town and used the Net. It must've been Shao'Kehn, because what else could explain only one place in town with no long-distance, that just happened to be SITEL?

5. Go to a Christian or other such church on Sunday some day and try to enlighten everyone. I haven't tried it yet myself, but it sounds like fun.

6. On to the rest of the earlier story:

Movement 6:3, Principia Flamboyencia

1. �� Once upon a time in the Region of Thud,

�� Was an ugly man who loved to eat mud,

�� And a beautiful girl who rolled in the hay

�� With another woman (cuz she was gay).

�� Well the whore were good, the Coke even better,

�� Every girl I saw got me wetter and wetter,

�� 'Till I saw the hot men looking all so fine,

�� So I flirted like hell and bought them all wine.

�� The men got drunk and we had an orgy,

�� I got fucked up the ass by one named Georgie;

�� It felt really good, like a nice cool shower,

�� And we fucked like beasts for over an hour.

2. And lo! Jesus wept in his wine, wanting me to continue with the original story. So I will. (Anything to shut him up.)

3. Pope Fay had started the re-re-write of the New Testa-mint, but it would be a while, what with this scripture, work, reading, and her midnight liaisons with Shao'Kehn. What's more, Jesus got evicted, and had to sleep on Pope Fay's recliner until he could afford his own place again.

�� "Wake up!" said Pope Fay.

�� "Wha?" said Jesus, looking up.

�� "You even cry in your sleep!"

�� "I do?"

�� "Yes. It's pathetic."

�� "I don't like where this story is going."

�� "Tough luck. Listen, I just discovered that Cthulhu has risen and is going to eat everyone, I think. We have to save the world."

�� Jesus� eyes bugged out. "Now I REALLY don't like where this story is going! Where's Shao'Kehn?"

�� "I don't know. I danced myself into a frenzy and invoked until I was half-dead with exhaustion, but She didn't show up at all. Then I invoked Bob. He didn't know where She was either, but I paid Him to look for me. He still hasn't found Her."

�� "OH GAWD! WE'RE DOOMED!"

�� "No, Jesus, we're not doomed. We both have miraculous powers, remember?"

�� "Well... yeah. But I'm a coward!"

�� "Well you'll have to stop being a coward and be a Chao-herd. The world depends on us."

�� "Oh great," Jesus said un-enthusiastically, "the world depends on a Discordian Pope and an alcoholic immortal who is worshipped as a Gawd but isn't really a Gawd. I take it we're the 'motley band of unlikely heroes.'?"

�� "Yeah, it's so clich�, ain't it?"

�� "You're the one writing this!"

�� "I know," she said, "believe me, I know."

4. They studied the Necronomicon, Bob's library of Ancient Wisdom, and the Bible for the location of Cthulhu's lair, thinking it a good place to start, but couldn't find it. They soon grew frustrated, and got drunk off their asses.

�� Finally, something happened.

�� "AH!" yelled Jesus.

�� "Wha?" asked Fay.

�� "Thaash it, I know de ansher!"

�� "Tell may, den."

�� "I have vishuns when I get drunk *hic*, an' I jush got a vishun. Cthulhu ish in Omaha, Nebrashka."

�� "Thaash conveenyent. Lesh go den! *hic*"

5. As Jesus and Fay went out to save the world, both were nervous.

�� "Hey," said Jesus, "I just realized something. Earlier in this scripture, you wrote that there was a monster at the end of this scripture."

�� Fay stared blankly at him for a moment. Then she made a face, and laughed nervously. "I guess I did, huh? How fortuitous. It must be Shao'Kehn's doing."

�� "Well, you ARE a Profit-Saint."

�� "I suppose."

6. �� "Omaha is a big fucking place," said Jesus.

�� "It's an anthill compared to Tokyo," said Fay.

�� "You should see Ohm'Fwahlngaa on the home planet of Jehovah-1, it's gosh-darn HUGE!" said Bob, who had joined the quest as just a smiling, pipe-smoking head floating in a cloud of smoke. The smoke smelled like a mixture of pot, crack, opium, frop, and LSD. Pope Fay had to use her Discordian Majicke just to keep from getting high from his fumes. He was talking like a ventriloquist, his face being a non-moving grin. His eyes moved sometimes, though.

�� "So, will this meeting with Cthulhu be X-Day?" asked Fay.

�� "Aw, shucks, no! X-Day has passed already. This meeting with Cthulhu will mark Armageddon!"

�� Jesus broke into frightened tears.

�� "Bob," said Fay, "I suggest you be quiet. The world depends on me and Jesus, okay?"

�� Bob just poofed away.

�� "Good."

�� And then, Pope Fay and Jesus of Nazareth heard screaming, and saw people running toward them in a panic.

�� "I think Cthulhu is that way." Fay said.

�� "You have a penchant for the obvious."

Movement 6:4, A New Soda Pop: Monkey She, Monkey Dew

1. The streets were dark, spooky, and empty. The clich� tumbleweeds rolled, crows cawed, and owls hooted. Jesus was hunched over, hugging Fay in intense fright.

�� "Why are you scared? You're always trying to commit suicide!"

�� "I'm scared because dying hurts, and waking up from death hurts worse!"

�� "Then why do you attempt suicide?"

�� "Because I'm drunk out of my mind when I do it."

�� "Oh. Well, wouldn't your liver have given out on you a long time ago? 2000 years of alcoholism and drug abuse should've made you barely alive by now."

�� "Every time I die, I become healthy as an ox, with the exception of the headache."

�� "Oh."

�� Right at that moment, they saw Cthulhu in the shadows ahead of them.

�� "I'm huuuungry!" it yelled ominously.

�� They screamed.

2. �� "I'm huuuungry!" Cthulhu yelled again, waving his tentacles around. "I'm hungry and naked, with no money to buy anything! All I have is one lousy penny!"

�� "W...w...why don't you ju...just eat p...people?" asked Jesus.

�� "W...what?" Cthulhu said, with a little catch in his voice. "I'M NOT A MONSTER!!! WAAAA!!!" Cthulhu wept into his tentacles.

�� Pope Fay was confused. "If you're not a monster, then what are you?"

�� Suddenly, Shao'Kehn appeared. "There's a planet in the Horsehead Nebula called Cthaagwa. Cthulhu is a God in one of the pantheons of the Cthorgai, the native race of Cthaagwa. Cthulhu is the Cthrigdian God of Reproduction."

�� Suddenly, Shao'Kehn changed shape into a form resembling Cthulhu. Cthulhu's eyes bugged out, and he said in ecstatic glee, "Cthorglinn! Deity of Chaos, Confusion, and Good-fear!!!" and the two entwined mouth-tentacles in greeting.

�� Pope Fay and Jesus stared at Shao'Kehn/Cthorglinn. She looked at them.

�� "What are you two looking at? Jesus, I possessed you once for a long time, and Fay, you're the founder of The Shoikinistic Cabal Of Eris By Other Names and The "People From Other Planets" League of Nations, so this shouldn't surprise you."

�� "Good-fear?" asked Jesus.

�� "The Cthorgai love roller coasters and similar rides that bring good-fear to them. But they're easily frightened, so their rides are smaller. Cthulhu was taking a stroll around the universe looking for me one day, and got lost on Earth. He FINALLY got out of the cave he was trapped in. So I'm helping him get back home."

�� "Uh... okay."

3. And Jesus didst say, "Uh... if Cthulhu's not the monster at the end of this scripture, who is?"

�� "Do you WANT one?" asked Shao'Kehn.

�� "NO NO!!! That's quite alright, no. Thanks for the offer, though," both Fay and Jesus said at once. They looked at each other and then both said, "Jinx! You owe me a soda!"

�� "Ah, but we're only in Movement 6:4, we've still got a ways left. So you might find a monster at the end of this scripture after all!" said Cthulhu.

�� Jesus fainted.

4.�� X-Rated

�� I used to think anal sex was gross, but then one day in the shower, I put a soapy finger up my bunghole and wiggled it around--it felt GOOD! The anus is the most erogenous zone of the human male (and female, too, I think). This fact makes me think that Shao'Kehn wanted us to have anal sex. And if a finger up my ass feels good, I can just imagine a penis up there being 20 times better! If you've dumped out your crap, and cleaned out your anal cavity, there's nothing gross about anal sex. Even analingus is possible without getting any germs.

5. When I was younger, there was a bully on my street who picked on me. I don't remember how it happened, but somehow we became best friends, and then lovers. I was about 10 years old when I flushed my virginity down the toilet with him, the whole while smiling and waving goodbye to it, looking forward to being sinful by Christian standards. ("Lost my virginity" just doesn't sound right--virginity is a curse, in my opinion). I still miss him, and wish we could be together again.

�� Moral of this story: Wierd things happen. Love them.

6. I'm going to go find Cthorglinn---I mean... Shao'Kehn. *Looks furtively and embarrassedly around*

Movement 6:5, Where's The Monster?

1. There's supposed to be a monster at the end of this scripture. Haven't seen one yet. At the end of Grover's book, HE was the monster. (It was Sesame Street, what do you expect?) I hope I'M not the monster! (Even if I'm cute).

2. Test Question #667: Answer this essay in 23 words or less:

�� Q. Briefly outline the powers and personalities of all known Deities through history, in all pantheons, and their influence on human history. You must use complete sentences, and paragraphs of at least three sentences long. You will be graded on length, detail, and non-repetitiveness. You have ten minutes, starting now.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________.

�� (If you need more space, use a blank sheet of paper.)

3. Memorandum

To: All students

From: Teacher

Date: 05/23/23

All students: Test questions were insanely simple, yet all of you failed. To make up your lost grade, you must now do this:

�� Homework assignment #69.3= Construct a sturdy, seaworthy, full-sized Clipper sailed ship using only mud bricks baked in the sun, toilet paper, and bubble-gum. Assignment due tomorrow.

4. Good grades on these test questions and homework assignments will get you a free pass into Paradise heaven, where naked women or naked men or both or other, depending on your preference, will feed you your favorite food while you laze around and do nothing all day except what you want to do. Fail, and you go wherever you want to, except for Paradise Heaven. (Unless you can climb over the 40-foot-high barbed-wire fence and avoid the 900-pound Pit Bulls.)

5. This scripture has been far too long. I'll be glad when it's over. I had no idea that a 6 x 6 x 6 scripture would be so LONG! If you've made it this far by reading all the way through, email me at fayanora@yahoo.com, because you deserve a prize!

6. So mote it bee.

Movement 6:6, The Monster At The End Of This Scripture

1. Read the TBOSSSI, become enlightened. Or vice versa. Read my writings, they're full of vice and vitamins, Viceroy. Check the TBOSSSI occasionally for updates.

2. Read Liber Kaos by Peter J. Carroll, it's GOOD! He's an atheist who uses Deities as just Quantum Etheric Patterns, but he mentions Eris and Discordian wiz-dumbs, so he can't be all bad.

3. This is the story that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend--some people started telling it not knowing what it was, and they'll continue telling it forever just because it is the story that doesn't end, it just goes on and on my friend... But seriously= Pope Fay, Shao'Kehn, Jesus, and friends will continue to hang out together, so there will be future stories.

4. Invoke Shao'Kehn some time, She's a ton more fun than just Eris, for She has so many aspects:

�� A. Pure, flowing Chaos (sane insanity, Her weird personality)

�� B. Protection

�� C. Eris-aspect

�� D. Oya (good change) aspect

�� E. Life {The Mother}

�� F. Dark Goddess (death, the macabre, spiritual death and rebirth, insanity, Crone aspect, wisdom of age, etc).

�� G. Darkest Goddess (hatred, evil, major bitch, etc... She's a whole pantheon in one Deity!) {The Beast}

5. You don't have to believe in Eris to be a Discordian! Email me and join TSCOEBON (The Shoikinistic Cabal Of Eris By Other Names) today! (You don't even need to be a Shoikinistic Discordian to join TSCOEBON).

6. �� "Hi there, this is George W. Bush, your President!"

�� "AAAAA!!! IT'S THE MONSTER AT THE END OF THIS SCRIPTURE!!!"

This scripture has been a production of Reverend Pope Fay Un-incorporated, and is dedicated in honour of Our Lady of Perpetual Grace, Saint Tara Lipinski the Chased. (Well, She will be Chased after I get within running distance of Her, anyway! JJJ

__________________________________

Endnotes

1 = Pope Fay lived at least one past life on a planet named Traipah, within a utopian society.

2 = "Shoikehnzah" is a word in Traipah's main language meaning "Chaos."

3 = And verily does "zahvahshah [zaa-vaa-shah]" mean "power."

4 = "Tehlfuug" means "Sex."

5 = "Lahsahn" means "Mother."

6 = "Taybahliss" means "Reality."

JJJ

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